Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

#27 Sheer Pantyhose and Patterned Tights

#27 Sheer Pantyhose and Patterned Tights

Whether you are an attorney, doctor, or upwardly mobile socialite, you make sure that whatever you are wearing out looks good on you.  From the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, your look shows everyone what strata of the socio-economic ladder you belong too.  So you make sure your wig is tight, your dress is right, and your legs are hard to miss.  So you never wear an outfit without... [Read more]


#26 Naming Their Children

#26 Naming Their Children

test 1We Educated Black People LOVE to give our children names that show that “we’ve arrived!” Names that won’t leave the teacher guessing where the accent should be.  Names that don’t necessarily reveal the child’s race like Nina(often times followed by Simone), Melanie, Noah(many are huge fans), Drew, Aiden, Nile and Gavin.  Gone is the day where Shaquan, De’Ja-nae and LaPonicah... [Read more]


#25 Gated Communities

#25 Gated Communities

After moving to Atlanta in droves, EBP will discover their new found love and desire for gated communities. The average EBP is very familiar with gated communities; whether they grew up with a gate at the front of their neighborhood or went to an HBCU such as Hampton or Howard University that was equipped with a security guard as well. Not only is this neighborhood feature the pièce de résistance... [Read more]


#24 Foreign Cars

#24 Foreign Cars

Educated Black People like foreign cars. Something about the undergraduate degree just makes American made cars inadequate. Now, the type of B.A. determines where the foreign car is from. Any Liberal Arts degree is automatically a Japanese Import (with a heavy affinity towards the Honda Accord). Science or engineering degrees are not as simple. Sometimes these degrees can go for “near luxury”brands... [Read more]


#23 Deck Shoes

#23 Deck Shoes

EBPs love to be “the exception.” There is no better way to separate themselves from regular BP, than by an EBP’s choice of footwear. The deck shoe or boating shoe is very popular in the EBP community. Most EBP prefer the Sperry brand of deck shoe. EBPs love wearing their deck shoes with shorts, khakis, or seersucker pants. The shoes complete the ultimate EBP weekend look. However, this... [Read more]


#22 Passing the BAR

#22 Passing the BAR

For those EBP who manage to survive law school, graduation comes with feelings of mixed emotions. Of course they are happy to be done with the 3 year ass whipping that is law school, but are also dreading the preparation to study for the Bar exam. During the time when an EBP is studying for the Bar, they will not be visible to their social circle, unless it consists of other EBP studying for the Bar.... [Read more]


#21 Hiding Their Drama

#21 Hiding Their Drama

EBP have the same problems as UEBP or WP. However, EBP take pride in hiding their drama from friends or co-workers. By allowing their drama to be brought into public light, EBP appear nothing more than the UEBP stereotypes portrayed by the media. Whether it be man problems, problems at work or catty-chick stuff; EBP will go to great lengths to protect their polished EBP public appearance. For there... [Read more]


#20 Wine & Cheese Affairs

If you are an EBP, chances are you have attended a wine and cheese affair. It all starts with an invitation. This will not be a phone call, text or paper invitation. It will be an Evite; other methods of invitation are unacceptable for EBP. Only real EBP know what an Evite is. Your host will make the event as discreet as possible by only inviting a select few. The Evite will usually indicate that the... [Read more]


#19 Displaying Photographs

#19 Displaying Photographs

Whenever someone visits the home or office of an EBP, they will notice that photographs are usually displayed. While this is a normal practice for all races, EBP do things a little differently. At first glance one will notice the pictures of family members; then, it will be spotted, perhaps in its own distinctive frame. It is a picture of your host shaking hands or in a casual pose with a celebrity.... [Read more]


#18 MEGA Churches

#18 MEGA Churches

Educated Black People like MegaChurches. There’s something about these churches that draw EBP in large numbers. The Pastors/Reverends/Bishops at the Mega Churches usually have advanced degrees in Divinity called a Doctor of Divinity. These church leaders usually use words with several syllables – something that EBP love. An example of these words would be: multiplicity, bewildered, extravagance,... [Read more]


#17 Spas

#17 Spas

Educated Black People like spas. There are many reasons why EBP like spas, but the main reason is that they offer exclusivity – the one thing an EBP constantly craves. They can make appointments, arrive 5 minutes early and be worked on immediately. An EBP would not be caught dead in a typical(nobody speaks English) nail salon(shop) to get a manicure and/or pedicure; those are the only services... [Read more]


#16 Howard University

#16 Howard University

For a large number of potential EBP in high school, Howard University is their Mecca. Throughout the long selection process, Howard is viewed in the same light as a move to Atlanta. If the potential EBP is lucky enough, they will be invited to a HU “College Night” where alumni will come to speak about the greatness of Howard. The alum will probably be dressed in a bow tie and tweed jacket, and... [Read more]


#15 Facebook (Pre-2005)

#15 Facebook (Pre-2005)

Educated Black People Like Facebook. This is the social networking site of choice for most EBP. Not the Facebook of today, but the Facebook, pre-2005, when only college students aka “educated people” could join and there weren’t all those new applications to add to your profile. In the good old days, one had to have a valid college email address to join, now “everyone can join”. The reason... [Read more]


#14 Correcting Others

#14 Correcting Others

Educated Black People Like correcting others. It does not matter the topic or situation, an EBP will never miss an opportunity to correct someone else. Hell, they’ll probably correct this post. An EBP will stop at nothing to show off their so called “educated” status. Whether it be correcting a co-worker on a point of information, or telling their 90 year old grandmother that it’s pronounced... [Read more]


#13 Oprah

#13 Oprah

EBP like Oprah. She has an exceptional ability that most other EBP wish they had – the ability to hold the attention of people and make them do, like, or buy just about anything. Oprah is educated and pulled herself up from nothing to be one of the most notable names in the world. EBP are constantly fighting at work or any place else to get ahead and/or be heard, while Oprah can tell white people... [Read more]


#12 Weddings

#12 Weddings

EBP like weddings. They enjoy the Pomp and Circumstance that comes along with an EBP wedding; an invitation only affair, filled with other EBP. Making weddings exclusive events are a favorite of EBP. Long gone are the days of a traditional church wedding. The advanced EBP now enjoy “destination weddings”. They can prevent the undesirables from attending because they usually cannot afford it and... [Read more]


#11 Jazz

#11 Jazz

One will only need to be in the company of an EBP for a short time before they hear about the EBPs love for jazz. Jazz has the uncanny ability of touching an EBP’s inner soul and heart, and making them feel them feel the pains and problems of the past. It is also the preferred date, as it shows true sophistication and understanding, while always impressing the ladies. EBPs feel like that they cannot... [Read more]


#10 Getting Dressed Up

#10 Getting Dressed Up

Educated Black People like getting dressed up. No matter the event or time of day, EBP will over-dress. EBP will spend half of their salary, maybe more, on a new outfit for a party, family reunion, or even a school play. Even if the event is casual, an educated black male will usually wear a necktie, maybe a suit, if its after 5 p.m. When considering to over-dress, the EBP will think about who will... [Read more]


#9 First Fridays

#9 First Fridays

Today is a special day in the hearts of Educated Black People, for it’s their favorite day of the month: FIRST FRIDAY! Unlike uneducated black people and their love affair with the 1st and 15th of every month, educated Black People wait in anticipation for the First Friday. This is the day that upscale events are held so educated black people can mingle among others of their social ilk. These events... [Read more]


#8 Talking About Uneducated Black People

#8 Talking About Uneducated Black People

Besides themselves, EBP like talking about uneducated Blacks who disgrace their race. Most EBP hate those Blacks who are loud in public and draw unnecessary attention to themselves. EBP especially get embarrassed when they are out with their white friends and they run into an uneducated Black person. They usually want to run over and slap the uneducated Black in order to stop whatever stupid behavior... [Read more]


#7 Barack Obama

#7 Barack Obama

Educated Black People Like Barack Obama, but it’s not for the reasons you think. Yes, Obama is an Educated Black Person, so of course we LOVE him. However, there are other reasons educated blacks like the Senator from Illinois. Another reason is that he’s the first Black person to run for public office without going all Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on America. Obama has not once gotten the NAACP... [Read more]


#6 Town Homes

#6 Town Homes

Educated Black people Like town homes. When an educated Black person gets a new job upon graduation, they usually purchase a town home. This is a symbol of status. It’s the convenience of a starter home without the burden of doing yard work. In places like New York, most educated Blacks will purchase a brownstone. A town home is a symbol of status because it shows the world that they have “made... [Read more]


#5 Advanced Degrees

#5 Advanced Degrees

Educated Black people like advanced degrees. What better way to show that you are educated than to get a slew of degrees to prove it! Educated Black people typically like to obtain their advanced degrees from universities that they find to be reputable. They have nothing against University of Phoenix, but something just doesn’t seem quite right about that place. It reminds them of those “degree... [Read more]


#4 Poetry Slams

#4 Poetry Slams

Educated Black People LOVE poetry slams. Poetry slams are events where either professional poets or audience members get up and recite original poems, songs and speeches. Educated black people are large attendees of these “slams” because we believe that this form of entertainment is much better then going to a bar, listening to music, enjoying a long walk, or anything else that uncultured people... [Read more]


#3 Baked Chicken

#3 Baked Chicken

We’ve all heard the joke that all black people love fried chicken. That’s not true. EVERYBODY loves fried chicken – white or black. It’s even on the buffet at Chinese restaurants! So let’s just scratch that idea right now. Educated Black People have a more sophisticated taste. We like BAKED CHICKEN. Some even go so far as to use lemon pepper seasonings, but this is only for the upper... [Read more]


#2 Neo Soul

#2 Neo Soul

Educated Black people like Neo Soul. For those of you who don’t know what this genre of music is about, I have included a short description. Neo soul (also known as nu soul) is a music genre and an umbrella term for current soul music. The music is usually a hybrid of 1970s-influenced soul music with influences from jazz, funk, hip hop house music. The term neo soul was originated by Kedar Massenburg... [Read more]


#1 Fraternities and Sororities

#1 Fraternities and Sororities

Educated Black people like to talk about which fraternity (also called a ”frat”) or sorority they pledged in college. Some of them even go to college with the intent to pledge a Greek lettered organization, then drop out of school. Unlike predominately white fraternities or sororities, these Black Greek letter organizations (or “BGLOs”) are for life. Many members wear Greek paraphernalia... [Read more]