Friday, January 19th, 2018

#3 Baked Chicken


We’ve all heard the joke that all black people love fried chicken. That’s not true. EVERYBODY loves fried chicken – white or black. It’s even on the buffet at Chinese restaurants! So let’s just scratch that idea right now.

Educated Black People have a more sophisticated taste. We like BAKED CHICKEN. Some even go so far as to use lemon pepper seasonings, but this is only for the upper echelon blacks with advanced degrees, so don’t try this at home if you only have an undergraduate degree. Now if you want to really show off your education, bake chicken breasts only! Most educated blacks prefer their chicken breasts with a side of rice and a vegetable.

By eating baked chicken, we educated Blacks feel as though we are beyond the stigma of eating common fried chicken. If you are a white person and are having your educated Black friends over, bake some chicken. But be careful because we cannot stand dry baked chicken. Baked chicken should be moist, so cover it with foil paper as you cook it. Also white people, never offer a black person fried chicken, you will probably get cursed out.

It must also be pointed out that baking chicken is much healthier than frying it. That’s something you should already know. This means that by eating baked chicken instead of fried, educated Blacks are ensuring that they will live longer than those without any type of higher educational learning. It also shows that we are more sophisticated and can use the oven for things other than baking those pies that white people love.


9 Responses to “#3 Baked Chicken”
  1. busybee says:

    …i don’t eat meat. what do i fall under? i’m not a vegetarian mind you. i still eat fish (because i couldn’t give up salmon and sushi). if i went to someone’s house and they offered me chicken, i wouldn’t curse them out, but my plate would look very awkward with a pile of veggies and some rice (because too many carbs are bad for you, too).

  2. Richard says:

    Again, tell me that this is a spoof and that Black American folks with a degree or two don’t actually think like this—PLEASE!!!!!!!!! If true, I pray that they keep this amongst their close circle of friends. You know, the other EBP’s. I picture an EBP driving in his BMW, with his perfect little family of 4, Buffy the perfect EBP wifey ( 1/5th Irish, 1/5 native American, 1/5 Scottish, and ssshhhh-2/5 th Negro), Jack the prodigal son and little Madison, a princess in the making. The top is down and Buffys’ hair is wrapped in a Prada scarf and eyes covered in the latest from Gucci. Daddy-bear is wearing the latetst driving shoes from Armani and the same brand deck shoes are in the trunk, just waiting to be slipped on when they arrive at their marina at Martha’s, vineyard that is. Ok, enough of this–I’m out before I throw up.

  3. unknown says:

    i thought i would something more like fried chiken

  4. LeTronique says:

    Is it bad that I totally want what Richard was talking about? Except the BMW… I’d rather have my four door Aston Martin, thanks.

  5. Ravontelleniquea says:

    I’m a very highly intelligent black man, and I HATE baked chicken. I prefer grilled chicken!

  6. Lisa says:

    I am pretty sure this is satire people, it is pretty clear they aren’t being serious.

  7. Rosalyn says:

    Somebody PLEASE tell me this website is a joke…I have come across some unbelievable sites…this ones definitely in my top 3.smh…

  8. Actually, this EBP occasionally poo-poos even baked chicken, as it can be greasy. EBP with advanced degrees are now broiling their chicken and seasoning it with basil, oregano, ginger, garlic powder, onion chips, and lemon pepper–yassss, darling! And for color, we sprinkle those lovely, tasty bird parts with paprrrrrrika, darling! (This site is all that and a “Cornish hen”–something else EBP love to say as much as we love to eat.)

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