Saturday, February 24th, 2018

#18 MEGA Churches


Educated Black People like MegaChurches. There’s something about these churches that draw EBP in large numbers. The Pastors/Reverends/Bishops at the Mega Churches usually have advanced degrees in Divinity called a Doctor of Divinity. These church leaders usually use words with several syllables – something that EBP love. An example of these words would be: multiplicity, bewildered, extravagance, annihilate, and repercussions. If there is a B or C list celebrity that is a member of the church, it is likely that they will be mentioned in a few sermons throughout the year. This is usually done to draw more members to the congregation of 300,000.

When attending church EBP usually wear business attire -“work clothes.” It shows they are more refined and that the Steve Harvey suits or purple suit with matching hat, shoes and purse are not acceptable for EBP status.

Attending services is very stressful on the EBP because it is difficult to concentrate on “the word” and not talk about others. However, Mega Churches have a solution for this problem – the overflow room. The church’s staff of ushers, all wearing white gloves, usually directs those that are inappropriately dressed to the overflow room. Yes, it says “come as you are”, but please don’t go out and buy and outfit that is club-worthy to wear to church.

When it comes to tithing, EBP are very careful to always give the full 10% as it serves a dual purpose. Tithing gives them the opportunity to follow the scripture and it also allows them to show off their salary to the finance committee without actually “showing off.”

Mega Churches usually have several services on Sundays. This allows the EBP to attend church early or later depending on when they would like to eat their lunch of baked chicken or attend a Jazz brunch.

If you are ever invited to attend a Mega Church by an EBP, always accept the invitation if you can. On holidays, it is important to early, as there will be a large number of people trying to get to church; they feel they will go to Hell if they don’t attend on the major holidays of Christmas and Easter. There is nothing more disrespectful than turning down an invitation to attend church, because the church family is their extended family of thousands; and you have to meet all of them. They may even ask you to join the congregation, but that is your call. Much like attending an HBCU, do you have enough clothes to attend a Mega Church?


12 Responses to “#18 MEGA Churches”
  1. Guru says:

    Man this is so sad! It’s true though!!!!! Don’t ever tell a church goer that you are a spiritual person and don’t actually pray in a place of worship. The look you get speaks a thousand words.

  2. mog says:

    i believe the reason a lot EBP’s like mega churches is because of the look of professionalism that speaks to their pride of self worth
    ..It easy to have anonymity in the move in and out and have no accountability for their lifestyles.
    they basically can have a somewhat spiritual experience and be far removed at the same time. and have pastors that dont really pastor them.
    they can give & support something religious to satisfy their sense of spiritual well being..
    im sorry but its only my opinion of observations…most mega church members i know dont know a thing about the Word of God less about the HolySpirit

    • Walt says:

      Preach! “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” Matthew 7:13. Most of these mega churches teach what the “pastors” want to teach NOT GOD’S WILL or the WORD! I’ve met one of these so-called “pastors” with a Doctorate in Divinity and he kept it real with me in telling me that his degree program highlighted several areas of “organized religion” and philosophy and he came out of it with the mindset that he would “get a church” and run it like a business. He was taught how to deliver a sermon but they never really look in depth at the Word of God to see what God wants Christians to do. These mega churches are about that guap! Check out 2 Peter 2:3 and tell me it doesn’t sound like the Prosperity Ministry: “And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.”

  3. chocolatemint says:

    My experience with small churches is that people are petty, gossipy and mean. Mega churches allowed me to go to church anonymously and just focus on the teaching.

  4. Wil Gafney says:

    A doctorate of Divinity is not an earned degree; it is an honorary one. Sadly, many black churches don’t require any education of their clergy. Even more troubling, many mega- and other pastors – pass their honorary degrees off as earned degrees even though they too have no theological education. As for why so many educated black folk who know the value of a good education for opening up one’s mind and world view and professionalism accept less in their place of worship is beyond me. Many have been successfully educated to turn off their highly educated minds because Rev. I. Frye Fish chants “Ain’t it all right…” to the tune of an asthma attack.

  5. marvin says:

    Being a non religious non believer I never go to church, and I pay as little attention as possible to any religious dogma. Church services in the so-called Black is nothing more than theater to me.

  6. Karla says:

    No.As an EBP, don’t like mega-churches. Not a member of a mega-church. In fact, I belong to a faith community with no clerical class at all. And I am an EBP.

    So your assessment is not totally correct. This assessment leaves out EBP of spiritual backgrounds and experiences outside of and beyond Christianity or what I am calling Church-ianity because Christ is often left out of the equation of the current meaning of “Church.” Weather the church is small, medium, large or “mega,” you leave a whole lot of EBP out with this shallow assessment.

    • Karla says:

      Spell check… I meant to write “whether” and not ‘weather.” That’s what I get for typing so quickly and not checking my spelling.

  7. Annoying EBP says:

    I enjoy your site. I have one critique, however. I’ve noticed that you have used the word “and” when the correct word was “an” in quite a few posts. I thought another commenter was being a ” nit-picker” when s/he pointed it out. Since you do it often, it seems like you really don’t know the difference. Please edit more carefully…it will improve the site a lot. Otherwise you’re a good writer…a true EBP! Keep up the good work!

  8. Annoying EBP says:

    Since I’m a grammar-nut, I had to edit my post! Lol…
    Otherwise, you’re a good writer…a true EBP! Keep up the good work!
    -I forgot the comma! :0)

  9. maia says:

    This website is a joke right?

  10. Jao says:

    I’m an educated black guy – and I’m a hardcore Atheist! I’ve only two wishes for churches – either convert them to science museums of scrap them for firewood. Seriously, higher education levels generally correlate with tendencies towards secularism or Atheism worldwide. I suspect the same’s true for educated Black Americans.

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