Friday, January 19th, 2018

#25 Gated Communities


After moving to Atlanta in droves, EBP will discover their new found love and desire for gated communities. The average EBP is very familiar with gated communities; whether they grew up with a gate at the front of their neighborhood or went to an HBCU such as Hampton or Howard University that was equipped with a security guard as well.

Not only is this neighborhood feature the pièce de résistance to a newly purchased townhome, gated communities allow EBP to protect their homes and possessions from the downtrodden and unwanted. EBP understand that “regular,” open communities are for UEBP that don’t understand the importance of standing out.

With the unfortunate popularity of urban gentrification in just about every major city, EBP look for gated communities when house hunting as it is a must. EBP that may not currently live in a gated community will make it a top priority amenity when they move to their next home. Even EBP that are renting apartments look for gated access when apartment hunting. When discussing a newly purchased townhome, “Is it gated?” will be one of the first questions asked by an EBP. If you are an EBP and your friend, colleague or associate does not ask “Is it gated?” within the first five minutes of the conversation, beware. They may be an UEBP in disguise.

EBP take great pleasure in surprising their guests with access codes that they are privy to only upon arrival. When attending an event where other EBP will probably be overdressed for a simple game night, EBP also find acting unaware of who you are and why you want access when you finally reach the gate. EBP’s faces light up with elation when their out of town friends visit for the first time and see that they are established – gated community and all.


15 Responses to “#25 Gated Communities”
  1. Torian says:

    I think this is why gentrification is as relevant as it is. When EBP’s become established, they run to gated communities, not to stand out but to (further) assimilate into white culture. I feel that if EBP’s went into the neighborhoods that white hipsters move to and work to revitalize it for people of color, then it would stop gentrification.

    • Richard says:

      Yeah–finally a voice of reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Ari says:

        Amen to this! i am a city girl, NYC born and raised, DC educated and now shifting to Philly so I am making an effort to remain relevant. No matter how much education I receive, I will always feel a pull to making sure those behind me get further than where I am now. We all need to re-develop that urgency for community elevation instead of focusing on the negative influences that plague us.

        • DW says:

          Why is it that everytime someone is doing well for themselves and treats themselves with the fruit of their labor (a house in a great community be it gated, or other) that they are trying to be WHITE? Why are you concerned about whether someone is being white? One could argue that your ego is quite huge for you to worry about remaining relevant. WTF is that? That fact that you are alive makes your relevant. If you choose to live in the city then do so b/c you love it not because you want to stay black.

          • Bianca says:

            Thank you. “Yea I want to go to princeton. I just got a full scholarship there and they are very advanced in the major I want.”

            “Girl why you tryna be white? Just go to FAMU”

  2. Richard says:


  3. Ash says:

    Precisely. And how counterproductive it is for the advancement of one’s race (as a person of color) to sequester him/herself in a predominantly white, suburban bastion of exclusivity (and racism!), conformity, and draconian housing covenants!

  4. ashley says:

    this website has to be a joke, I am 24 and just rec’d my masters from the university of houston. I think whoever created this website only did it to mock the crazy thoughts of some black people who “make it”and feel the need to disassociate themselves from “uneducated” people. I really really hope people do not feel this way about themselves.

    • Krissa says:

      I agree with the sentiments of the writer. Why would I want to work so hard to gain success to associate and live amongst uneducated people? I want to live in a safe and comfortable neighborhood with other professionals…

  5. Sam says:

    I don’t live in a gated community. I live in an urban neighborhood that was once populated by middle class/working class people. Since the mortgage crisis, all of the foreclosed homes have been snatched up by real estate investors, who then rent them to Section 8 tenants. The neighborhood is definitely experiencing a downward spiral. At this point, a suburban home with a draconian housing covenant sounds very appealing!

  6. Deen says:

    I am honestly surprised that on so many posts the satire just flies so far over “educated” minds.

    Perhaps the next post should be “Stuff Educated Black People Like: Getting All Up in Arms Over What is Clearly Satirical..…and shouting out their alma maters at the same time”

  7. Observer says:

    I know I’m a bit late in commenting. I can relate to what your intentions may have been when listing things educated black people might enjoy, or relate to; however some of the categories are just pure close minded. As an educated black woman; homeowner since the age of 23; currently a Director of Marketing at a prestigious University. I have to say I disagree with many of the things on this list. I respect that a blog was created to promote positivity in the black community; however I think the person who created this list needs to experience the world a bit more to discover and actually discuss what a true educated person likes or desires. I can tell you from the list you created; you might know how to paint yourself to impress others; but experience is what makes you educated. The type of community you live in, the cars you drive and LOL an Evite invitation, baked chicken, lol does not classify education.

    When you can develop a list with some value; I would be interested in reading. For example, an educated person should be able to write a book about the experiences she/he had in another country or during an exasperating time in their life where they may have achieved something invaluable. An educated person enjoys learning a different culture, or creative ways to cook, or travel. An educated person enjoys taking risks, not limiting themselves to a certain environment or comfort level. When you can come up with a list like this, then I will show support.

    First and last time I will visit this blog…but thanks for sharing.

    Take care!

  8. an education woc says:

    i can’t take this site seriously. i mean, look at the subtitle.
    “everything you’ve EVERY wanted to know about EBP”. who are all these people that need a website to tell them about people who happen to have higher education and happen to be black? who wrote this shit?

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